TICK  TOCK !  LEAP

The clock misguide me,

From the earthly pleasures I seek,

It prohibits me from being me

Wants me to be bleak !

As time ticks by;

Tock Tick, Tock Tick,

The strong person in me dies,

With every second that pass.

I wonder how people do it,

Jumping every hurdle,

Flowing through it gently,

And finding their paths easily.

As I sit in my Veranda,

Thinking and Deepening in my thoughts,

I'm suddenly awakened aloud,

By my very own ticking clock.

Soon there is a hustle;

In me that I feel,

Realize how we sit anxiously,

For a lightening life of speed.

Soon, As I start to get up,

To finish off the unfinished business,

I realize its all in our head 'shining bright' !

But our heart does it alright. 

HOW TO MOTIVATE A TEENAGER

When parents ask, “How do I motivate my teen?” they usually mean, “How do I get my teen to do what I want? How do I get her to have some balance in her life? How do I get him off the computer, get outside, or do just about anything except sitting around doing nothing?”

Compliments

People do better when they feel better. There’s nothing like getting a compliment for something you feel good about or being affirmed for who you are to improve motivation. This is true for everyone, but especially for teens, who often hear endless criticism, nagging, and complaining about their poor performance.

 If you’re used to using praise as a motivator, you may have a tough time finding something praiseworthy with your teen. That’s why we suggest encouragement because it works even when your kids are in the dumps and making mistakes.

One place to make sure everyone gets a compliment or appreciation is the family meeting. If you have weekly meetings and start each meeting with something positive, your teens might want to be at the meeting for that alone. A fifteen-year-old boy said his favorite time of the week was the appreciation/compliments he got at the family meeting.

During the week, look for ways to let your kids know how unique they are, what you appreciate about them, how adorable they were as little kids. Tell them stories about what they used to do when they were younger. Ask them if there’s something they wish people would say about them or like about them or notice about them, and then make sure you tell them exactly what they want to hear. They will like hearing it, even if they told you what they wanted.

Humor

Teenagers enjoy a sense of humor and respond to it much better than to lectures and nagging. The following situations illustrate how parents use humor to invite cooperation and to lighten things up.

When a teenage girl forgot to set the table, her mother served the dinner directly on the table. Everyone laughed at the absurdity of the situation. The table was set on time from then on.

Joint Problem Solving Works with Teens

Four Steps for Joint Problem Solving

1. Teen shares his or her issues and goals.
2. A parent shares his or her issues and goals.
3. If goals of teen and parent are far apart, brainstorm to find options.
4. Teen and parent pick an option they can both live with and try it out for a short time.

Kind and Firm Parenting Skills To Remember

1. You can motivate your teens with encouragement which is very different from trying to get your teens to do what you want.
2. Humor, collateral, let’s make a deal, and involvement is positive motivation tools.
3. There is one surefire way to get your kids to keep their agreements, and it's called follow-through. It may be a lot of work for you in the beginning, but it will be worth every minute of the time you spend to train both you and your teen to use better habits.
4. Read the four steps, the four traps and the four hints for successful follow- through again and again, because they are very different from how you would normally respond as a parent—and as a human.
5. You must be there at the first deadline to set up the follow-through. It won't work in the long run without you there in the beginning.
6. If you whine or complain that using follow-through is too much work, track how much time you spend reminding and nagging your teen instead. Notice the effect that nagging has on you and on your teen. Keep a checklist of how often the task you are nagging about actually gets done. We call this a reality check.

Gift Ideas for Teenage Girls

Gift ideas for teenage girls can be a monumental task if you are not prepared. Teenage girls are very picky in what they want as gifts and may not show outward excitement for certain gifts received.  However, there are fun and exciting gift ideas for teenage girls that will surely fit your budget as well as their preference.

Girls love items that make them look and feel fashionable. Common gift ideas for teenage girls include jewelry, gift certificates, reading material and electronics. Some obvious choices that people opt for are perfumes, clothes and make-up kits. Trendy items tend to make the biggest impact. Gifts don’t need to be flashy or extravagant. Nevertheless, you have to choose things that will fit your budget and the teenage girl will love.

Girls may love their fashion sense but there are still those who want to receive electronics. Popular choices are smart phones, Ipads, laptops and cool cameras. These gifts may be on the expensive side but you can still get bargains and best deals by scouring the Internet for ideas. Since Christmas shopping is always a rush, it is suggested to secure these items before it runs out. You may even get big discounts on gift ideas for teenage girls with online sellers.

You can never go wrong with beauty and hair accessories. Teenage girls are fond of fixing their hair and nails so they look their absolute best. They want to look good for every occasion with their friends so they keep their cool status. If you decide on these gift ideas, then you are fairly certain the girl will be happy with the outcome. Make-up kits, nail polish, hair clips and dryers are exciting gift ideas for teenage girls. 

Jewelry sounds kind of pricey but you don’t need to be extravagant on gifts. Teenage girls adore jewelry because it makes them look fashionable and older than they are. There are great choices for necklaces, bracelets and earrings. These gift ideas for teenage girls are very current and will bring smiles on their faces on their special day.

Probably one of the safest gift ideas for teenage girls is gift certificates or vouchers. Rather than tormenting yourself on what to get them, gift certificates will save you more time and it becomes a can’t miss gift for girls.  However, it would be nice to take effort on finding a gift for these girls.

Gift giving is a way to show our appreciation for the people who have made an impact on our life. If you are looking for gift ideas for teenage girls, then you can take some of the recommendations here. 

                 TEENAGE BRAIN

Children’s brains have a massive growth spurt when they’re very young. By the time they’re six, their brains are already about 90-95% of adult size. But the brain still needs a lot of remodeling before it can function as an adult brain.

This brain remodeling happens intensively during adolescence, continuing into your child’s mid-20s.

Some brain changes happen before puberty, and some continue long after. Brain change depends on age, experience and hormonal changes in puberty.

So even though all teenagers’ brains develop in roughly the same way at the same time, there are differences among individual teenagers. For example, if your child started puberty early, this might mean that some of your child’s brain changes started early too.

Inside the teenage brain

Adolescence is a time of significant growth and development inside the teenage brain.

The main change is that unused connections in the thinking and processing part of your child’s brain (called the grey matter) are ‘pruned’ away. At the same time, other connections are strengthened. This is the brain’s way of becoming more efficient, based on the ‘use it or lose it’ principle.

This pruning process begins in the back of the brain. The front part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, is remodeled last. The prefrontal cortex is the decision-making part of the brain, responsible for your child’s ability to plan and think about the consequences of actions, solve problems and control impulses. Changes in this part continue into early adulthood.

Because the prefrontal cortex is still developing, teenagers might rely on a part of the brain called the amygdala to make decisions and solve problems more than adults do. The amygdala is associated with emotions, impulses, aggression and instinctive behavior.

Building a healthy teenage brain

The combination of your child’s unique brain and environment influences the way your child acts, thinks and feels. For example, your child’s preferred activities and skills might become ‘hard-wired’ in the brain.

How teenagers spend their time is crucial to brain development. So it’s worth thinking about the range of activities and experiences your child is into – music, sports, study, languages, video games. How are these shaping the sort of brain your child takes into adulthood?

You are an important part of your child’s environment. How you guide and influence him will be important in helping your child to build a healthy brain too.

You can do this by:

·         encouraging positive behavior

·         promoting good thinking skills

·         helping your child get lots of sleep

Behavior strategies for teenage brain development

While your child’s brain is developing, your child might:

·         take more risks or choose high-risk activities

·         express more and stronger emotions

·         make impulsive decisions.

Here are some tips for strengthening positive brain connections:

·         Let your child take some health risks. New and different experiences help your child develop an independent identity, explore grown-up behavior, and move towards independence.

·         Help your child find new creative and expressive outlets for her feelings. She might be expressing and trying to control new emotions. Many teenagers find that doing or watching sport or music, writing and other art forms are good outlets.

·         Talk through decisions step by step with your child. Ask about possible courses of action your child might choose, and talk through potential consequences. Encourage your child to weigh up positive consequences or rewards against negative ones.

·         Use family routines to give your child’s life some structure. These might be based on school and family timetables.

·         Provide boundaries and opportunities for negotiating those boundaries. Young people need guidance and limit-setting from their parents and other adults.

·         Offer frequent praise and positive rewards for desired behavior. This reinforces pathways in your child’s brain.

·         Your behavior will show your child the behavior you expect.

·        You’ll probably want to keep an eye on your child’s activities and friends. Being open and approachable can help you with this.

·         Talk with your child about his developing brain. Understanding this important period of growth might help your child process his feelings. It might also make taking care of his brain more interesting

Thinking strategies for teenage brain development

Brain growth and development during these years mean that your child will start to:

·         think more logically

·         think about things more abstractly and understand that issues aren’t always simple

·         pick up more on other people’s emotional cues

·         solve complex problems in a logical way, and see problems from different perspectives

·         get a better perspective on the future.

You can support the development of your child’s thinking with the following strategies:

·         Encourage empathy. Talk about feelings – yours, your child’s and other people’s. Highlight the fact that other people have different perspectives and circumstances. Reinforce that many people can be affected by one action.

·         Emphasize the immediate and long-term consequences of actions. The part of the brain responsible for future thinking (the prefrontal cortex) is still developing. If you talk about how your child’s actions influence both the present and the future, you can help the healthy development of your child’s prefrontal cortex.

·         Try to match your language level to the level of your child’s understanding. For important information, you can check your child has understood by asking him to tell you in his own words what he’s just heard.

·         Help your child develop decision-making.  You and your child could work through a process that involves defining problems, listing options, and considering outcomes that everyone is happy with. Role-modeling these skills are important too.

Cheap Summer Getaways !!

Whoever said summer fun had to cost an arm and a leg obviously never heard of recession.  With the current downturn of the economy, everyone is looking for inexpensive ways to liven up their summer.  Whether you need a whole weekend, or just a day, taking a vacation this summer doesn't have to be expensive or complicated.  Here are five recession proof ideas to take a mini vacation without emptying your wallet.

Camping

Camping is the perfect weekend getaway for summer and is just about a care free as vacations come.  Many places don't require reservations and are very inexpensive.  All you need is a tent, sleeping bag, and provisions.  Even if you don't own a tent, buying one is still cheaper than the cost spending a weekend in a hotel.  Many newer camp sites also have pools and game rooms for campers to use free of charge giving you even more bang for your buck.  Camping is especially fun if you live in or near a city as it provides a pleasant change of scenery.

Beach

Taking a trip to the beach is everyone idea of summer fun, but it doesn't have to be expensive.  The trick to a cost effective beach vacation is to avoid holidays and peak season.  Many areas raise prices from mid-June to late July so try planning a trip in the off season.  Also, don't feel like you have to go to the popular beaches to have a good time.  They are often over crowded and more expensive.  Look for smaller, less known areas that are more family friendly and offer better rates.  When going to the beach, all you really need is a towel, games and good friends and family.

Hiking

If you don't have time for a weekend getaway, hiking can be a great day trip alternative.  Whether you stay local or decide to drive a little farther out, taking a hike is great way to relieve stress, clear you mind and enjoy the great outdoors.  Depending on how intense of a hiker you are, you may need a compass or heavy duty bag, but anyone can pack and lunch and put on sneakers.  Best of all, you are sure to get amazing pictures once you reach the top!

Picnic

A family picnic is a great and inexpensive way to have a small getaway with your loved ones.  It a lot more fun than having a meal at home and can add excitement to any day.  It give the adults time to relax and the kids time to run and play.  Because picnics only require things you already have at home, a basket full of goodies, a few games, and a blanket, its a perfect all expense paid day trip.

Day at the Lake

Since water and summer go hand in hand, a day at the lake is the perfect one day getaway for anyone.  Whats that? You say you don't live near a lake? A river works just as well and almost everyone lives near some form of water; how else would we survive?  Taking a day to visit you local water hole is the perfect way to relax by the water for a low key getaway.  If you have a boat or have the option to rent one for a day, tubing is a great way to make waves.  Much like a picnic, all you need is lunch, a towel and some friends.

Help A Teen - Happy Women's Day

This Women's day, Instead of feeling good yourself alone and enjoying it, Help someone who needs your care. Do something good and it will make you feel proud of yourself.
I encountered an amazing story of of a Women consultant and her case of A Teenager who wished to suicide and even tried to.
Let's hear her.

Are you a teen-ager contemplating suicide or the parent of one? The following case study may help you solve your problem. When I met Jill, she was sixteen years old and had been in counseling for four years. She was twelve years old when she tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose of pills. Jill was taking medication for depression and mood swings and was attending a small private school to help her cope with life.

Besides all of these helpful measures, she was still getting upset easily and over-reacting to situations. She was also missing school frequently for psychosomatic illnesses (illnesses that are caused by emotions). Jill was living with her mother, step-father and step brother. She had an older sister and brother who lived outside of the home. Her mother, Kate, a forty-four year old woman, was unhappy in her second marriage. When she called me for counseling, she was very concerned about her daughter because she was talking about suicide again.

During our first session, I asked Jill to complete the sentence, "I want to commit suicide because..." Jill responded, "I want to commit suicide because I feel trapped. I can't be myself. I have to take care of my mother." Then I continued, "Jill if you could be free to live your own life, would you want to live? "Yes," she replied.

In the course of counseling numerous teen-agers, I noticed that this is a common feeling for the youngest child of parents who are having a lot of difficulties. It is interesting that even though no one directly tells the child to rescue their parents they feel obligated to do so. The mother and/or father (sometimes unconsciously) give messages to the child that it is better not to grow up because then they will have to face their personal unhappiness and marital relationship. The parents are also afraid of letting go of their roles as mother or father which have been their identities most of their adult lives.

To assist Jill, I helped her visualize and cut the ties that were unconsciously connecting her to her mother. I also used therapeutic processes to help her raise her self-esteem. At the end of the session, I asked Kate to come back into the office and encouraged Jill to share her new awareness with her mother.

Kate seemed surprised when she heard her daughter express the major reason why she wanted to die. She was also relieved and hopeful that maybe now Jill would want to live. Kate reassured her troubled daughter that she wanted her to grow up and live her own life and that she was going to be okay by herself.

In other sessions, I worked with Kate alone to help her cut the ties that she had unconsciously connected to her youngest daughter, face her unhappy relationship and build her own self-esteem.

Getting to the core of the problem resulted in immediate changes. With higher self-esteem, both Jill and Kate started to dress better and look more attractive and happier. They encouraged each other to be separate, independent people, and responsible for their own lives.

Two factors that helped Jill improve so quickly were that Kate was attending a church that taught positive thinking and she was willing to work on her own growth.

Jill soon had less psychosomatic illnesses and upsets and was able to quickly calm down if she did overact. She was no longer talking about suicide and proudly told me, "I don't need my medication anymore."

If you are the teen-ager contemplating suicide, you can show this article to your parents and ask them to help you to solve the problems. Or if you are the parent of a child thinking about suicide