Adolescent Sexuality

In 1967, Reiss stated that sexual attitudes and behavior had shifted from acceptance of sex within marriage to an acceptance of sex within an affectionate relationship.    Many argue that this attitude has continued and grown to include changes toward sexual equality, fewer families being headed by two married parents, and reductions in parental supervision with these changing family constellations and more parents working outside the home (Hopkins, 2000).  Dynamics such as these are important to consider 

For example, when researchers use the term sex, they most often mean heterosexual intercourse; however, adolescents may interpret the questions regarding having had sex or being sexually active in much broader terms.

 New York psychologists should be aware of these possible differences in meaning for adolescents. surveys have shown that while adolescents agree that heterosexual intercourse is sex, there is much disagreement regarding other sexual acts .  Adolescents also differ in their definitions of abstinence and virginity, depending on their own sexual experiences.

 Therapists in New York should also know that definitions vary between males and females, between heterosexual and homosexual males and females, and depending on sexual experience.  Therefore, for a New York psychologist, asking questions about virginity, frequency of sex, and number of partners could elicit different answers from two adolescents with identical sexual experiences.  Most research focuses on onset and progression of sexual activity through quantitative data, but much less research includes qualitative descriptions of experiences, and even less research examines adolescents’ cognitive conceptions and affective responses to sexual experiences or how these ideas and emotions may differ by gender, age, ethnicity, relationship status, sexual orientation, or family background (Savin-Williams and Diamond, 2004).  These are important discussions to have with adolescents as a therapist in New York.

New York psychologists should know that narrow and self-selected research samples are also a limitation in this field.  There are vast differences across cultures regarding sexual attitudes, sexual behaviors, and adults’ expectations regarding adolescent sexuality; however, most research has been conducted within the United States (Schlegel and Barry, 1991). 

In addition, the research conducted in the U. S. has disproportionately focused on females in general, as well as minority females and females living in poverty (Tolman and Higgins, 1996).  Because research has focused more on trends rather than understanding the pathways to different sexual behaviors, research on these minority groups has led to stereotypes about race, poverty, and sex.  Research has also focused much less on same-sex behaviors, orientation, and identity (Goldfried and Bell, 2003). 

Lastly, because so many studies employ self-report methodologies, adolescents who are uncomfortable or self-conscious may self-select themselves out of such studies (Wiederman, 1999).  This can also occur if parents do not provide consent for participation.  To better understand the impact of the parent-child relationship on this important aspect of adolescent development, the research regarding the influence of parent-child relationships and developing adolescent sexuality will be reviewed in combination in the following chapter.

How to Design Teen Rooms

Teen rooms are the bane of mothers everywhere. It’s not even like when they were younger. Those days if their rooms were messy you could shout at them and get them to clean up, and barring that you could go in and do a good job yourself. But when it comes to teens and their rooms you’re dealing with a whole different kettle of fish.

True, you could go ask them to clean up their rooms. And true, you could shout at them a little if you wanted to, and go and clean the room yourself. However that’s when all hell breaks loose. Teen rooms are sacred places and not to be entered lightly. Woe betides the person who even dares to move one inch of that grungy mess on the carpet. It was there for a reason and you had no right to move it. At least that will the argument of most teens, and you being the patient, caring mother that you are will just roll your eyes and tell them that the whole pizza and day-old shirt thing just don’t go well together and you were just rescuing them from the wrath of the walking pizza slice.

Your teen will in turn roll their eyes and protest loudly, that no it wasn’t about to grow legs and walk off on its own, and if it was then wouldn’t that be a great science project. You keep cleaning and they keep putting things back. End of story, and you’re basically right back at square one.

One way that you could of course deal with this catastrophe though is to redecorate. Teen rooms might be sanctity of peace for them, but even they would like it if you could give their rooms a great makeover. That’s not to say that the room will be any cleaner once you’ve finished and they’ve moved back in, but at least you’ll get to see the inside of the room long enough to tide you over for the next few years. That is unless you’re thinking of redoing their rooms every year.

Now this then is where you come to your next problem. Since teens are notoriously different when it comes to their rooms, you might find that your teen rooms are decorated quite differently to what you expected and what you would have done in the first place. This is where a comprise should be struck, if your teen wants black for his room, then say you want something else that will offset the black.

Be prepared to give a little on your ideas no matter how ridiculous their ideas might seem. After all you’re only a teen once and you will look back and think with fond horror on what bad taste you had. As a parent it’s your duty to give them these moments in their lives upon which they can look back on with due horror, and ban their kids from doing the same to their own teen rooms.

Sky High Vibes..!

Sitting through a see through glass,

Of a height that touches the clouds that pass,

Frivolous on a rocking chair,

Imitating as if, working fair.

Sky so high, so blue and so dull,

Pouring the reflection on the ocean beneath,

Making me nauseous of the towering fact

Though I  ain’t afraid of height.

Suddenly from somewhere far,

I hear roaring of clouds and thunder at par,

Lightening from those black clouds so bright so clear,

It makes me quiver and cheer.

Lo and behold it looks so lively,

As the rain starts to pour lightly,

I see little umbrellas floating,

On the hands of people  Oh so tiny !

Droplets on the sea water,

And clouds so close to me now,

Gives me chills and makes me high,

For an everlasting vibe.

IS MY CHILD LEARNING ENOUGH?

One of the big questions most new homeschoolers ask is, “How will I know if my child is learning?”

When a child is in public school he or she is constantly tested. Each week there are spelling tests, there are chapter tests on a regular basis, and in many states, there is standardized testing. Many parents of public school students decide that if the grades coming home on test papers and report cards are good, then their child must be learning.

When students are pulled from a traditional school setting and placed in homeschooling it is sometimes difficult for the parent to know if the student is actually learning enough to keep up with their grade peers.

 A big problem is that homeschool students tend to not be tested as often as public-school students. But is it really a problem and is testing the only way to know if a student is learning enough?

HOW LONG?

Sometimes it is difficult to tell if a child is learning enough in homeschool because homeschooling generally takes much less time than traditional education.  

 Homeschooled children generally do not spend as much time on some particular topic as traditionally educated students because they are neither ahead nor behind their classmates. Part of the reason for this is that your homeschooled child is receiving one-on-one attention. They do not have to wait for others to catch up, nor are they holding up other students back if they need to spend more time on a topic. If the student understands the topic then he or she can move on right away.

Homeschoolers can take almost all of that transition time out of their day. The commute from math at the kitchen table to history on the sofa takes considerably less time than moving from one end of a building to another and climbing a flight of steps or two. 

 When was the last time you heard of a traditionally educated student actually finishing a complete textbook in a year?  It is safe to say that a homeschooled student can probably cover more material in a school day than traditionally educated students can. It is not unusual for a homeschooled student to complete the entire course in a homeschool curriculum.

TESTING?

Homeschooled students generally do not take as many tests as public-school students do. Consequently, less time is spent teaching “to the test”. Teaching to the test limits a student’s exploration of a subject by limiting them to the material that will be tested. Testing is not necessarily a true measure of understanding of a topic.

In fact, standardized tests can be detrimental to students who are from different backgrounds and upbringings. Consider, for example, a standardized test question that asks reasons for the Civil War. Since the Civil War is viewed differently by different ethnicities, as well as different locations, a question designed to show understanding of the reasons behind the war might not realistically test a student’s knowledge.

Another problem with standardized testing is that some students are very tested savvy, understanding how to take tests well even if they do not understand the subject matter. Other students are poor test takers and do not do well under the pressures of timed tests. A low score by a poor test taker is not a true measure of their knowledge or learning ability, only their testing abilities.

CONCLUDE?

It sounds cheesy to say that you will know if your child is learning but the reality is that you will know if your child is learning. You can see it on their faces, you can tell by their attitude, and you will see forward progress.

If your student begins them homeschool day ready to go to school, moves quickly through their assignments, and is hungry for more information, it is safe to say that the student is learning.

If your student can not only give you the instructed materials on a multiple-choice test but can hold a conversation about the material you will know they understand the material. When a student can play the part of the teacher, either giving a speech or teaching other children in a subject, then that student will have sufficient knowledge of a subject to move on to new material.

Finally, as the parent as well as the teacher it is possible to see the student in all stages of learning. You will not have to depend on a report card or a test score. You will see your student work through the instructional material, watch them answer questions, and be able to judge for yourself if your student is actually learning.

QUOTES BY TEENAGERS ACROSS GLOBE

"If you want to destroy something then destroy your negative thinking."
Written in 2014 by Lopamudra N., Age 15 --- India

"I sleep just to get up early and start a new day."
Written in 2014 by Vikrant S., Age 17 --- Iowa
Just thought about it

"The thing I fear the most may not be death. The person I like the most may not be a girl. The belief which I practice may not be a religion. The company I seek may not be of friends but the ONE without WHOM I cannot get along is certainly GOD."
Written in 2014 by Akash Y., Age 18 --- India

"The best way to hold on... is to let go."
Written in 2015 by Casey L. --- United Kingdom
I wanted to try out new ways of thinking.

"You are not a drop in the ocean but an ocean in a drop."
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Aishwarya Daftari --- India
My friend motivated me by saying this and to understand my value.

"BE lieve THE re is GOOD in the world."
Written in 2015 by Isabel P., Age 16 --- California

"You have to be odd to be number one."
Mr. Mudassir --- Submitted by Mohd M.U., Age 16 ---India
I think this thought is awesome

"Decide in your heart of hearts what really excites and challenges you, and start moving your life in that direction. Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow, and the day after that. Look at who you want to be, and start sculpting yourself into that person. You may not get exactly where you thought you'd be, but you will be doing things that suit you in a profession you believe in. Don't let life randomly kick you into the adult you don't want to become."
Chris Hadfield --- Submitted by Lauren C. --- New Jersey

"Solidifying your own legacy means you go through Hell and high water just to make your family proud and letting them know you're making a name for yourself."
Written in 2015 by Anthony Wren

"Protect your spirit from contamination; limit your time with negative people."
Thema Davis --- Submitted by Isabel P., Age 16 --- California

"Sometimes life throws dirt at you; all you can do is to grow flowers with the dirt that life has given. It's all about making something good out of your problems."
Written in 2014 by Rodney M., Age 16 --- Zimbabwe
I had a pretty tough time in my life and I'm making something good out of all my problems.

      
"Life is nothing but challenges; the more you undergo, the more you learn."
Written in 2015 by Bhavani T., Age 16 --- India
My experience about life

"There's only one panacea for ALL your worries, dear teenager... GOD."
Written in 2015 by Ehimen A., Age 17 --- Nigeria

"Love is like a word written in Chinese; most of us don't understand what it truly means."
Written in 2014 by Rodney M., Age 16 --- Zimbabwe
I had a crush on a girl, and she was already taken. I guess it was never meant to be.

"Success is the shadow of hard work."
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Muskaan K., Age 14 --- India

"Life throws sticks and stones at you, but they help you become who you are today."
Written in 2014 by N. M., Age 14 --- South Carolina
It's the quote I live by everyday.

"Life is not about regrets, but preparations."
Written in 2014 by Tumisang R., Age 17 --- South Africa

"To me, impossibility died seventeen years ago. Actually, a minute before my birth, so I live a world of possibility."
Written in 2014 by Olalekan Olatunbosun

"We never succeed in dreams; we succeed in our real life. So keep working hard and succeed."
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Rishabh G. --- India

"Cracks in the concrete serve as proof that even when you are strong you can fail."
Neibor Mukwevho --- Submitted by Munzhedzi M., Age 17

"There is a "u" in success."
Written in 2014 by Destiny S.
Just randomly came to my mind.

"A good life should always be made, not to be waited for."
Author Unknown ---Submitted by Shuchita M.,Age 13 --- India

"Pain is temporary, JUMP!"
Temporary Pain Ski Group --- Submitted by B.P., Age 16 --- Colorado

"All is well that ends well...and if it is not well, it's not the end...the story is not yet over, my friend!"
Written in 2014 by Urvashi N. , Age 17 --- India
Inspires me to get better with every obstacle I overcome.

"Failure sometimes gives you the opportunity to know and discover your hidden abilities. Failure revolves around those who progress."
Written in 2014 by Olufunmilayo A., Age 17 --- Nigeria
I want people to know it's not a bad thing to fail.

"Keep climbing and never level off, no matter what your speed or angle of attack is."
Tyrell Rhodes --- Submitted by Charles M., Age 15 --- Kenya

"If being nice is being fake, I would prefer being fake."
Written in 2013 by Rohan Chaubey

"I don't know about you but my GOD is an awesome GOD. Amen!"
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Karabo M., Age 17 --- South Africa
I feel like my relationship with God is the strength of every aspect of my life and after God is LOVE... Jesus loves you.

"To be a great teenager you need not sit like a rock but work like a clock for life is not a game but a challenge you must win."
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Adebamijoko O.J., Age 13 --- Nigeria

"It really isn't about getting your life together anytime or every time. To me, it's about having the courage to be consistent with keeping it together anytime or every time it falls apart."
Written in 2014 by Ale F., Age 16 --- Nigeria

You don't always have it all figured out... it gets boring... being confused and blank makes it sometimes interesting and less difficult or serious.

"Books are like drugs; the more you read, the more you will be addicted to reading."
Written in 2014 by Lindelani M., Age 17 --- South Africa

"Don't dwell on the past or the grief you hold within. Push through the tears and love the moment because this is something that will make you stronger in the future."
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Bree P., Age 17 --- Australia
It's a true inspiration. I want to share this to help others that face a tough time.

"You educate a man, you educate a man; you educate a woman, you educate a generation."
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Arslaan K. --- India

"Don't argue with stupid people, they will bring you down to their level and beat you with their experience."
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Sourabh M., Age 18 --- India

"The greatest achievement I have ever made was asking myself why and how."
Written in 2014 by Clinton N., Age 17 --- Kenya
I wrote this quote when I looked at my exam results and made a u-turn to work smarter. Later, I had really improved.

"I do not know what the future holds, but I do know what I presently hold: DETERMINATION, HOPE, and GOD."
Written in 2014 by Ale-Felix M., Age 16 --- Nigeria
Some people waste most of their time worrying about the future but they don't understand that whatever positive things they do now are panaceas to a positive future, so, NO WORRIES.

"Live With No Excuses, Love With No Regrets."
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Whitney A., Age 15 --- New York
This quote to helps me keep focused on what really matters in his world. I hope you love it as much as I do.

"Best friend is someone who knows that you are crazy but still wants to see you out in public with them."
Written in 2014 by Nyawiji A., Age 17 --- Indonesia
I wrote this because I found my true best friend through this quote. It's really meaningful to me. Hope it will help you.

"Not all fingers are the same in length but when they are bent, they all stand equal. Life becomes easy when we bend and adjust to our situations."
Written in 2014 by Submitted by Sindhukonnurm, Age 16

"One of the things people suffer the most from is giving love and receiving none."
Written in 2014 by Mohamed S., Age 17 --- New Hampshire
This is my quote, I just made it up in my sadness.

"Overcoming poverty is not a task of charity; it is an act of justice. Like Slavery and Apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. Sometimes it falls on a generation to be great. YOU can be that great generation. Let your greatness blossom."
Nelson Mandela --- Submitted by Tatum W., Age 16 --- South Africa