Help A Teen - Happy Women's Day

This Women's day, Instead of feeling good yourself alone and enjoying it, Help someone who needs your care. Do something good and it will make you feel proud of yourself.
I encountered an amazing story of of a Women consultant and her case of A Teenager who wished to suicide and even tried to.
Let's hear her.

Are you a teen-ager contemplating suicide or the parent of one? The following case study may help you solve your problem. When I met Jill, she was sixteen years old and had been in counseling for four years. She was twelve years old when she tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose of pills. Jill was taking medication for depression and mood swings and was attending a small private school to help her cope with life.

Besides all of these helpful measures, she was still getting upset easily and over-reacting to situations. She was also missing school frequently for psychosomatic illnesses (illnesses that are caused by emotions). Jill was living with her mother, step-father and step brother. She had an older sister and brother who lived outside of the home. Her mother, Kate, a forty-four year old woman, was unhappy in her second marriage. When she called me for counseling, she was very concerned about her daughter because she was talking about suicide again.

During our first session, I asked Jill to complete the sentence, "I want to commit suicide because..." Jill responded, "I want to commit suicide because I feel trapped. I can't be myself. I have to take care of my mother." Then I continued, "Jill if you could be free to live your own life, would you want to live? "Yes," she replied.

In the course of counseling numerous teen-agers, I noticed that this is a common feeling for the youngest child of parents who are having a lot of difficulties. It is interesting that even though no one directly tells the child to rescue their parents they feel obligated to do so. The mother and/or father (sometimes unconsciously) give messages to the child that it is better not to grow up because then they will have to face their personal unhappiness and marital relationship. The parents are also afraid of letting go of their roles as mother or father which have been their identities most of their adult lives.

To assist Jill, I helped her visualize and cut the ties that were unconsciously connecting her to her mother. I also used therapeutic processes to help her raise her self-esteem. At the end of the session, I asked Kate to come back into the office and encouraged Jill to share her new awareness with her mother.

Kate seemed surprised when she heard her daughter express the major reason why she wanted to die. She was also relieved and hopeful that maybe now Jill would want to live. Kate reassured her troubled daughter that she wanted her to grow up and live her own life and that she was going to be okay by herself.

In other sessions, I worked with Kate alone to help her cut the ties that she had unconsciously connected to her youngest daughter, face her unhappy relationship and build her own self-esteem.

Getting to the core of the problem resulted in immediate changes. With higher self-esteem, both Jill and Kate started to dress better and look more attractive and happier. They encouraged each other to be separate, independent people, and responsible for their own lives.

Two factors that helped Jill improve so quickly were that Kate was attending a church that taught positive thinking and she was willing to work on her own growth.

Jill soon had less psychosomatic illnesses and upsets and was able to quickly calm down if she did overact. She was no longer talking about suicide and proudly told me, "I don't need my medication anymore."

If you are the teen-ager contemplating suicide, you can show this article to your parents and ask them to help you to solve the problems. Or if you are the parent of a child thinking about suicide

WE ARE A TEAM

On the same page, we all sail,

That forces us to spurge through,

The world where we live in,

Seems much more than we foresee.

On the same trails, we all walk past

People say experience the haul,

But we want to fantasize

Every fact, that isn't right

On the same pond, we all dive in

Fish bowling every situation

Rebels are what we hear of us

But strange words don't bother much.

That's why we are a team !

As they call us "Simply a Teen"

That's how different we are

And it will take time for them to reach that far.

 LETTER FROM A GUY WHO ONCE WAS A TEEN

Neglected by parents and never had a friend,

Never had a true love, Never had a love to end.

My advice for such a Young man,

Is first cry and be blue;

For this time will soon bend,

Into a world of Do and New.

Don't say "Well at least I'm Grateful",

For this thing and that,

For gratitude leaves no Solitude;

To change things that go Splat !

Instead, make a list of ten things,

To help you to move forward,

And make a list of another ten,

To help you to move Toward.

TOP TEEN GIRL PROBLEMS

1. Appearance:

This probably features as the number one problem on every teenage girl’s problem list. This is the time when her body is constantly changing, and she must cope with it. To top it, she keeps seeing and hearing about these figure-perfect bodies. Media and peer pressure also play havoc.

Solution:

1) Monitor your teenager very closely.

2) Discuss how these ‘looks’ are more of fads.

3) See to it that your young girl doesn’t adopt unhealthy eating habits.

4) Ensure the people she spends time with do not act in an adverse manner.

2. Education:

This is a time when your teenage girl must constantly prove her mettle by scoring high, doing well in exams and on other educational fronts. This creates immense pressure on your young girl and leads to stress and undue pressure.

Solution:

1) Make your teenage girl understand that she should study well and score good marks, but that grades are no way of judging someone. Low grades do not make anyone less educated or less talented. There is always another test she can prove herself in.

2) Encourage her to take up extra-curricular activities that she likes. This will help her unwind while building more focus and concentration power.

3. Dating:

Teenage already comes with a lot of problems and challenges. The sudden increased flow of sex hormones inside the body makes it even worse. You might find your girl falling for her first crush and vulnerable to romantic liaisons. A lot of teenage girls experience healthy crushes and early-age love too. However, peer pressure, changing times and the advancement of media has sort of associated sex to such teenage romantic relationships. This makes your teenager girl feel that sex it but natural in romantic relations even at an early age. Also, this is an extremely confusing time for her, in terms of precautions, safe sex and how much involvement is okay and by choice.

Solution:

1) Tell her it is perfectly alright to say no to sex.

2) Educate her on the sex front. It is very important for you to pass all relevant information about sex as and when she grows. Be open and discuss sex with her, it is not a taboo.

3) Teach her how to be safe and all about precaution too, as you may not always be able to control her relationships.

4. Bullying:

Bullying is one of another teenage girl issues which bothers them a lot. This starts affecting their personality and behavior. Your teenage girl might also feel depressed and reac

t strangely by keeping to herself.

Solution:

1) Make sure your teenage girl discusses everything with you.

2) If you feel she is being bullied, advise her on how to face it and stand up against it.

3) Teach her how she can come out of such situations and how you too were bullied sometimes when young. Children should know that they are not the only ones who face such problems. This eases them out a bit.

5. Friendship:

Teenage makes every relation seem complex. Even the beautiful bond of friendship often meets shaky grounds. This is because as a teenager, your child is developing social skills. Your daughter might love her best friend one moment and might pick an ugly fight the next. This may result in aggression and mood swings.

Solution:

1) Teach your teenage girl that it is alright to fight with friends. But fights don’t make any friend bad.

2) It is alright to have problems and difference of opinions. Even her best friend might not always agree with her on something.

3) The best way is to discuss these problems and then forget about them.

4) Monitor the kind of friends she makes. Ensure she is in the right company.

5) Teach her that it is okay to apologize when wrong.

     A day in the digital life of teenagers

With each generation the public consciousness conjures up a new fear for our youth: where once it was rock ‘n’ roll, today the concern is that teenagers’ lives are dominated by digital media. The worry is that the digital deluge may affect their capacity to learn, to converse, to spell, and more besides. Have they no time for the leisurely face to face conversations of old, for spending time with family, or even for a good night’s sleep uninterrupted by the glowing screen of a smartphone? 

The walk home from school turned out to be a significant moment for the teenagers – a relaxed time in between one thing and another, away from adult scrutiny. It was often the last chance to talk to friends face-to-face before returning home – where the teenagers would reconnect online. They liked to stretch this journey out, unwinding from the demanding rhythm of the school day. While their phones were in hand frequently checking for messages and sharing updates and jokes, the point was to spend time together, face to face.

This insight into the lives of 28 teenagers reveals how diverse their lives and approaches are. While most possess phones and use Facebook, they use them differently to pursue different interests, sometimes deployed to connect with others and sometimes to tune them out. There are many reasons for this, but the more we know about teenagers’ lives the clearer it becomes that young people are no more interested in being constantly plugged in than are the adults around them. What they want is to have the choice of when and where to disconnect from the often rule bound and conflicted world of grown-ups they find themselves in.

Digital devices and the uses they put them to have become teenagers’ way of asserting their agency  – a shield from bossy parents or annoying younger siblings or seemingly critical teachers, a means to connect with sympathetic friends or catching up with ongoing "peer  drama". In fact the overriding importance of agency to teenagers is shown in the way they avoid the growing of their digital embrace of school – teachers’ use of digital media in class or email or the internet to contact them at home is met with whispers and even slower walks home, so as to extract the maximum time spent with friends and unobserved by adults.

As adults and parents, we might spend less time worrying about what they get up to as teenagers and more time with them, discussing the challenges that lie ahead for them as adults in an increasingly connected world.

BEFORE SUNRISE

Millions of feet have trudged this path
And left pieces of their soles
Stuck on the ground, that we
So warmly remember as a corner of our own.

As we inhale the fading dusk
And try to capture the stars as indelible memories,
We take this moment constructed in stardust
And place it in a museum where the world
Starts to envy this meaning that we found
In smiles that somehow coaxed the other

That years wasted and a life changed
Can be both meaningful and meaningless,
Because of one night when the moon
Poured its glue of ethereal connections,
On two souls that learned that
Magic exists in knowing another,
And in the attempt to understand,
That millions of lips pine for love,
Because they have tasted it at least once.

New Year, New Me ?

They say it's New Year,

Make some Resolutions !

But I sit and Yearn,

For some, Involution.

Get Thin,Work Hard,

Earn More, Sleep Soon.

Are you serious, I ask,

Will you follow any two ?

Resolutions are Pollution,

Just a word, if I may,

Say that all it means,

To me as I cease.

You change, when you feel like,

And that's how it works

Not forcing hard for New Year,

Just take the heavy burps.

Too many rules ? 

And Too many blues ?

Well, Stay happy and hashtag bliss

And Optimistic shitz.

If asked me my resolution,

I may say, Revolution

To change the way it works

For Simple Honest Perks.